Butt Crack Itch – Revised Hypothesis

Posted by VERITAS
Regrettably, BCI — or, if you prefer, AI for “anal itching” — has continued since starting to wear boxers to bed, in contrast to sleeping naked as I had done formerly, which should almost have eliminated skeeters as a potential cause.

Current hypothesis: pinworms from a raw energy bar product I recently started eating … around the same time, as I recall, that I started getting the worms. A raw energy nugget — not “bar” — product would be putting it more precisely, due to the product’s nugget-like shape, and tasty nuggets they are, the problem being that I can just see some worker in their production facility sitting on a toilet seat, wiping their anus sloppily after a BM; then not washing their hands, at least not thoroughly enough; then not wearing any gloves — as maybe the facility doesn’t require the wearing of gloves or does but doesn’t supervise said requirement sufficiently — as they return to their job of shaping the product into its nugget shape … Quelle AI horreur!

Of course I may be wrong and for this reason won’t name it, but I have stopped eating it, so let’s see if the AI abates, though of course temporal correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causation …