Bitch Dom as Wall

… mixing my father’s, mother’s, and my own behavior into a single person, the Bitch Dom rises out of my subconscious, rules (so often anyway) my jacking fantasies …

… so I can maintain the illusion that my CSA humiliation and other CSA-related suffering as an infant, toddler, had a reason—to please the Bitch Dom—and that there was an awareness and intentionality behind them instead of their being, as they were, the result of my parents’ blindness (my father’s thinking he wasn’t actually abusing me; my mother not seeing or turning a blind eye to my father’s abusing me), over which I had no control …

Church Bells?

Posted by VERITAS
… walking down Nassau Street, I think I hear church bells, then realize it’s just a sounds-like-Church-bells car alarm …

Sonic Misperception

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Passing a Tully’s with outdoor tables, I think I hear someone crushing a can only to look over and see an old man leaned over a table opening plastic-packaged sandwiches …

Imagined Intruder

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Returning to my apartment, as I open the front door, a fold-able, black fabric umbrella I’d folder, inserted into its fabric case, and hung by its handle loop on the inner handle of the door loosens, dropping down one section, and starts swinging from the door handle.

And how did my brain interpret this in the moment of first perception?  As a rat hanging / swinging from the door handle!  Which gave me a bit of shock before I realized what it actually was.