Dream of the Old and New

Posted by VERITAS
AM
Dreamed that a place — a building — I had long used, in dreams, as a refuge was being reformed, with the result that I wouldn’t be able to use it any longer, so I was trying to decide what things to take from it to my actual home, that could be still used. Some things were (too) broken (e.g., chipped bowls) or dirty (e.g.., towels soiled by a pet cocker spaniel my family had when I and my siblings were still kids; actually, my sister’s dog as the dog, when it was still a small puppy, was given to my sister as a birthday present when she was about three, four, or five years old — I can’t recall precisely) to take, so I decided to leave them — leave them on the first (already renovated?) floor of the refuge where there were some young, brand-new looking teenagers to whom I said jokingly, “You guys aren’t real!” Because they looked too perfect! They laughed and took it as a joke.

(I do recall I and my brother keeping the cocker spaniel puppy in the second floor loft where we slept in two alcoves the night before my sister was presented with the puppy as a birthday present.  I recall going into my sister’s room, holding the puppy with one hand behind my back, then bringing the puppy into view and holding it out to her as, I believe, I said, “Happy Birthday!”  I recall my sister’s delight.)

Mem Frag

Posted by VERITAS
PM
Mem Frag (While Looking At a Painting Depicting (Among Other Subjects) Bare-Breasted Women):
Of waking in the middle of the night at age five and going to the entrance of my parent’s bedroom to see my mother breast-feeding my baby sister … of being impressed, awed even, by the size – and beauty – of my mother’s lactating breasts … of my baby sister taking my mother’s nipple into her mouth … of my father being awake also, talking to my mother – my father, who would one day, I strongly suspect, sexually abuse my sister as he (had already by that time) sexually abused me (and would continue to do so until I was nine) …