Winding Down

Posted by VERITAS
Walking under gingko trees on the way to teach a class … sour smell of fallen gingko nuts … sunshine, blue sky, low humidity, mild temperature … sadness with the winding down of the year …

Later to the dentist, who explains that with my upper right back molar already so worn down, and with the lower right back molar having already moved up to at least mostly fill the gap, he’ll have to try to create sufficient space for a crown for the upper molar by using dental sanding type instruments to reduce the thickness of the crown on the lower molar, and if the lower crown is too thin and he sands through it, then reduce the height of the lower molar itself somewhat, after which he’ll put a new crown on the lower molar and, if all goes well, a crown on the upper molar as well, all to avoid a root canal … the possibilities limited and narrowing; so full of compromise between options so short of ideal … (but at least there are these options!)

Walk back to the station full of a sadness and a winding down feeling … but I’m OK with it, accept it, which makes it bearable, even pleasurable somehow … pleasurable but sad … sad but pleasurable …

Sad

Posted by VERITAS
So much sadness in my relationships with my mother … my father … so much!

Shortage

Posted by VERITAS
Shortage of funds … deepest shame
Shortage of hope … deepest sadness
A benefactor helps with the shortage of funds
But the shame remains, the sadness even more so

Older Unmarrieds

Posted by VERITAS
AM
To All the Older Unmarrieds (Whether Never or Divorced) Not Otherwise in a Permanent Relationship:
A friend celebrating their Silver Wedding Anniversary on social media … a cake and smiles with her spouse … brings a twinge of envy as well as sadness that I haven’t had – at least so far . . . and time is growing short! – a similar arc in an intimate relationship … but then a recognition, as well, that the difference in my path can yield its own unique positive meaning for my life, and, I hope, the lives of others.