Restroom (Stall) Review

… Narita, Terminal 1 Shopping Area, 5th floor, as I enter from the end of the outside take-offs viewing deck, proceeding into the hallway area from the restaurant area with the Thai restaurant to your right, then going left a bit, down the hallway, I find a restroom …

… clean, well-lighted, as are all the Narita restrooms … a bit more spacious, between the washbasins and the stalls, than the other Terminal 1 restrooms I’ve used—at least that’s my impression … and virtually empty, this in contrast to the usually pretty busy, centrally-located restrooms of the check-in / ticketing area … at least 3 stalls with Western-style toilets (I can’t verify another, the door of which is closed), which I prefer to the Japanese “squat” variety, of which there aren’t more than two (two assuming the stall with the closed door is of this type; otherwise just the empty one—its door ajar—that I spot) … I choose the end stall …

… the door has a solid, study feel to it and closes, with a sliding lock, firmly and securely (a more solid, sturdy feel; a bit more securely, it seems, than other Terminal 1 stall doors and locks I’ve used, but again, perhaps this perception is due to the positive mood I’ve now entered, which is due, at least, to this restroom’s being almost empty (just me and whoever’s in the other in-use stall), and to my just having come from watching, from the viewing platform, a succession of planes taking off into the brightening day …

… for the flush, a smooth, stainless steel oval of metal, located somewhat above the level of the toilet bowl and mounted on the wall behind it to the left as one faces the bowl upon entering the stall, which oval, sitting on the toilet seat (and after giving the seat a wipe down with a tear-off of three or four sections of toilet paper, then, as I’ve noticed two random-looking holes drilled into the partition near the toilet paper dispenser, their positioning, I presume, a mistake but in any case a commentary on things in life—hopes, intentions, plans, and attempts to execute plans—that don’t come to fruition, meditating on such things for a brief moment), I press to give the toilet a flush, as I always do at dump initiation, the sound of the flushing water providing cover for any BM-related noises—release of gas, sphincteral ejection of BM load, etc.—and, as well, a sort of white noise enabling greater concentration on the BM, including optimal timing of muscle contractions to assist the movement of whatever load matter is (at least somewhat) ready for release in the final segment of its intestinal journey …

… though it takes somewhat longer than usual to find the right timing for the final contractions (I give the toilet another flush when I do so), the BM goes relatively well—a relatively sizeable dump with no stuck feeling of any unable-to-eject load wannabe waste matter remaining after completion …

… thank goodness, and at least relatively healthy (95%+ vegan, the remaining vegetarian) dietary habits: despite all of the (at least potentially) stress-inducing goings on in my life and the world generally, none of which seem to have any easy solution, at least a decent dump …

… lost chance …

… dream frag: … receiving a business card from a woman I’m attracted to along with a yes when I ask her for a date, which we plan to have later in the day, setting the time and meeting place … but then I can’t get to the meeting place by the agreed upon time, and when I do it’s way too late and she’s not there … what’s more, I’ve lost her card and so have no way of contacting her … frustration, loneliness, despair …

… Straining for Control …

… dream frag … of driving a car (which in my dream seems to stand for my ego / identity / life) but barely staying in control, having trouble steering … driving, at the end, to streets at a higher elevation but still having trouble … driving in reverse a good deal of the time but in reverse even more difficult than forward … feeling strain, frustration at my failure of control …

Eve of Halloween Eve

I choose the cheapest train route to get me within walking distance of Roppongi, where I’m going to view the Halloween throngs; get off at Azabu Juban, walk the route to Roppongi — down Azabu Juban’s main shopping street, past the Tsutaya-Starbucks, up Keyakizaka Dori, then down Roppongi Dori to Roppongi Crossing — that has the most people, thinking, as I walk, about a woman I love, who said she may come, with her girl friend, to meet me, if, that is, they leave the expensive Halloween party in another neighborhood, a posh neighborhood, they’re going to early enough — a party she invited me to but I couldn’t go to because I couldn’t afford it …

… get to Roppongi and walk the main drag, from Roppongi Crossing several blocks towards Tokyo Tower and back … the crowds not as big as I thought they would be — not the true, surging throngs I saw last year on actual Halloween Eve, but even though tonight is just the Eve of Eve I still expected to see substantially more — more people in costumes, more costume originality, like what I recall seeing last year, and more energy on the street as, even though it’s Friday night and the weather is nice, the atmosphere feels a bit dead … maybe it’s the recessionary economy …? or just, in fact, because it’s the Eve of the Eve and not the actual Eve …?

… wondering, as I walk, what she’ll do tomorrow night, who she’ll see on the actual Eve? … when I asked the other day she only laughed and said after the drinking she would be doing at the party she was going to tonight, she wouldn’t be able to go to another party on the actual Eve … but what if she’s meeting someone else, a possible “rival,” or, worse, someone who already has her heart with no place left for me? … well, if she is, so be it — I want her to be entirely free … though, of course, I’m glad that sometimes she likes to be with me … and I’ll be seeing her next week, an assurance that makes seeing her or not tonight feel less crucial …

… late enough for me to know she won’t be calling or coming to meet me . . . so now it’s down to sitting in the Tsutaya-Starbucks — in one of the upholstered chairs facing the windows on the 2nd floor, where the music is sometimes shitty — popzak, though I like the jazz instrumental numbers they’ve transitioned to for the past twenty minutes or so — but the view — of the terrace with its outdoor tables and the intersection below — is good … good enough, anyway, for solitary rumination on the Eve of the Eve …

Lonely at Evening

Posted by VERITAS
… toilet tank filling after a piss … standing before my desk after working at my writing — the content for this site mostly — most of the day, except for a midday walk in the park, meals, toilet breaks, and a few naps, mostly after eating, when, I suppose, my blood sugar spiked enough to make me drowsy … Meetup parties I might like to attend too expensive for my just-scraping-by budget (reasonable perhaps for all-you-can-drink, but my limit is usually one glass of wine or bottle of beer and even that sometimes unfinished and besides I just plan don’t have the money) … a woman I might like to be with recently not available (will she ever be?) … lonely, and the best I can do for it right now is this walk I’m taking, post I’m writing …